Well, you're right - the stem is too long (or too short - 2 more inches and it's a demi warden). The curve along the bottom side is better than along the top - there's an angle change where stem meets shank at the top. But it tapers nicely from bowl to button.
The bowl looks really round on top, very nicely shaped (hard to tell with only one pic) but it looks like the sides are a bit flatter, and the transition to the shank is a little too sharp I think, a little too accentuated. If you smooth out the sides and kind of blend them into the stem just a bit more it would look a little less forced.
A creditable early pipe. We all have a drawer full of these!
I suggest, as I do to all, that you copy a pipe in your arsenal as closely as you can - a dunhill , a pete, a charatan.... try to get a feel for how these "classic" pipes manage to handle the elements of shaping and proportion.
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