The Last of the Pipesmiths

[RadDavis]

Briar is native to Portugal, meerschaum is made from the skeletons of prehistoric animals and Julius Vesz is the only person in the world who still makes pipes.

http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-445667?ref=email

Julius claims to be the only pipe maker worldwide. Then he goes on to say that all the other pipe makers use green briar, since they ran out of "dead root briar" 39 years ago.

This sort of shit pisses me off.

Rad

[Sasquatch]

Dunno bout you, but my briar's fuckin dead by the time I'm done with it.

Clearly a piece done on a particular agenda, and bearing no basis in reality, but then, what would you expect on the TV?

I'm gonna go look at my briar and see if any of it's dead.

[KurtHuhn]

I strangle my briar the moment it arrives, and put a bullet in each block for good measure. Then I go outside and run around the house at the speed of light for five minutes creating a relativity well inside, which ages my briar 50 years almost instantly.

I can't believe Julius didn't think of that....

[Sasquatch]

That explains why I feel so old! It's YOU!!!! You and your relativity tricks! I HATE YOU!!!

[ToddJohnson]

That's ridiculous. It's one thing to market your wares as being magical--it's a common practice--but to be so ignorant that you think meerschaum is the bone from an extinct animal and that porcelain pipes are "carved," is inexcusable. Once he kicks it, I sure would love to have a lot of that old tobacciana, though. That and the fact that Henry Ford was the only "celebrity" whose name I actually recognized leaves me unimpressed. Since we're name dropping, though, my pipes are collected by Thomas Kincade, who's the "painter of light." PAINTER OF LIGHT, bitches! Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Who's famous now? Oh yeah!

TJ

[SimeonTurner]

My favorite is that right off the top they talk about how pipes are "built."

"Hi, my name is Simeon Turner, and I'm a pipe builder. Yep, been buildin pipes since the dinosaurs turned to fossils."

Todd, perhaps you should tell Mr. Kincade that your pipes are made from green wood, and that they don't smoke well. The Painter of Light deserves pipes that smoke well.

[RadDavis]

That's ridiculous. It's one thing to market your wares as being magical--it's a common practice--but to be so ignorant that you think meerschaum is the bone from an extinct animal and that porcelain pipes are "carved," is inexcusable. Once he kicks it, I sure would love to have a lot of that old tobacciana, though. That and the fact that Henry Ford was the only "celebrity" whose name I actually recognized leaves me unimpressed. Since we're name dropping, though, my pipes are collected by Thomas Kincade, who's the "painter of light." PAINTER OF LIGHT, bitches! Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Who's famous now? Oh yeah!

TJ

I'm unimpressed. Thomas Kincade's "paintings" are pretty cornball if you ask me.

My pipes are collected by a tenor with the Metropolitan Opera. I refuse to drop his name here, as I am not a name dropper. You'll just have to guess.

You've never heard of Mickey Rooney? Good God, man.

Rad

[Tyler]

That's ridiculous. It's one thing to market your wares as being magical--it's a common practice--but to be so ignorant that you think meerschaum is the bone from an extinct animal and that porcelain pipes are "carved," is inexcusable. Once he kicks it, I sure would love to have a lot of that old tobacciana, though. That and the fact that Henry Ford was the only "celebrity" whose name I actually recognized leaves me unimpressed. Since we're name dropping, though, my pipes are collected by Thomas Kincade, who's the "painter of light." PAINTER OF LIGHT, bitches! Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Who's famous now? Oh yeah!

TJ

He also tossed out the gem that briar is "petrified wood."

Wow...just, wow.

[RadDavis]

I also love the interviwer's several snickering questions implying that people might smoke dope in the pipes.

Rad

[KurtHuhn]

That explains why I feel so old! It's YOU!!!! You and your relativity tricks! I HATE YOU!!!

That's nothing. I once forgot to warn my wife to get out of the house prior to doing the briar aging dance. Man was SHE pissed!

That's ridiculous. It's one thing to market your wares as being magical--it's a common practiceTJ

And sometimes you don't even have to. Sometimes your customers do it for you.

Especially famous customers. Like Harold from Queens, and "crazy hair guy" in South Boston.

[SimeonTurner]

Especially famous customers. Like Harold from Queens, and "crazy hair guy" in South Boston.

They collect your pipes too? Man, I thought I had that market cornered. I feel so.....used...

[ToddJohnson]

That's ridiculous. It's one thing to market your wares as being magical--it's a common practice--but to be so ignorant that you think meerschaum is the bone from an extinct animal and that porcelain pipes are "carved," is inexcusable. Once he kicks it, I sure would love to have a lot of that old tobacciana, though. That and the fact that Henry Ford was the only "celebrity" whose name I actually recognized leaves me unimpressed. Since we're name dropping, though, my pipes are collected by Thomas Kincade, who's the "painter of light." PAINTER OF LIGHT, bitches! Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Who's famous now? Oh yeah!

TJ

I'm unimpressed. Thomas Kincade's "paintings" are pretty cornball if you ask me.

My pipes are collected by a tenor with the Metropolitan Opera. I refuse to drop his name here, as I am not a name dropper. You'll just have to guess.

You've never heard of Mickey Rooney? Good God, man.

Rad

Kincade and Ross are true artists, Rad. You hold your philistine tongue. Besides, if you don't understand Thomas Kincade's paintings it's only because you don't have Jesus in your heart. You know, of course, that his paintings are depictions of "life before the fall." You'll never understand real art, Rad.

TJ

P.S. Jonathan collects my pipes too, so suck it you surreptitious name dropper! Maaan you are such a name-dropper!

[ToddJohnson]

You've never heard of Mickey Rooney? Good God, man.

Rad

I thought he said macaroni and was just confused! Even I know Mickey Rooney is the guy from last Fall's indie hit, "The Wrestler." Duh.

TJ

[Sasquatch]

It's so awful to see jealousy taint a conversation like this. You guys think you're so smart, and then you see someone who knows more than you on TV, and get all mad.

Personally, I'm waiting till they interview Mad Mike about pipes. l suspect he'll corroborate a lot of Vesz's theories. And won't you all look like fools then??

Ha!

[SimeonTurner]

Are we sure that wasn't mad mike? I mean, he didn't look too crazy, but you never know.

Or maybe the "reporter" was mad mike?

[ToddJohnson]

Are we sure that wasn't mad mike? I mean, he didn't look too crazy, but you never know.

Or maybe the "reporter" was mad mike?

The reporter actually reminded me of the announcer from Best in Show. I wouldn't have been at all surprised if he had turned to Julius and said "how much do you think I can bench-press? Oh, come on, just take a guess!"

TJ

[mredmond]

Ha! If only Fred Willard actually had done this interview. So is this guy just crazy or is this some kind of strange marketing ploy, I wonder. He can't actually believe that stuff, can he?

I'm glad CNN reporters don't do any research to go along with their interviews...legitimate journalism is such a bore.

Micah

[Tyler]

Ha! If only Fred Willard actually had done this interview. So is this guy just crazy or is this some kind of strange marketing ploy, I wonder. He can't actually believe that stuff, can he?

I'm glad CNN reporters don't do any research to go along with their interviews...legitimate journalism is such a bore.

Micah

Not one to typically jump in and defend CNN, but this interview was in their section on the web that is upload-able by anyone. I don't think this was a CNN interview, per se.

As for Vesz believing what he said, at the very least he is consistent. The larger pipe world has been refuting him for years, but he plods along sticking to his "dead-root" guns. If he doesn't believe, he's a DARN good actor.

[mredmond]

Thanks for setting me straight Tyler. CNN gets a pass this time. : )

Micah

[vasco]

Briar is native to Portugal,

There is plant called "Erica lusitanica" here in Portugal, but I never knew you could make pipes with it. Yes, if it's on CNN it must be true.

Actually, the most interesting celebrity for me here is Zero Mostel.