d.huber wrote:George, I love you, man. Please let it lay. Whether or not anyone worded something perfectly in this instance is unimportant. The spirit of what Tyler had to say is essentially the same as what you wanted him to say.
The funny bit is that in the course of the thread, the importance of "wording something perfectly" could not be better illustrated.
I admire Tyler very much for many reasons, chief among them his astonishing generousness of spirit when dealing with people who live in difficult circumstances and have an entirely different worldview. Whatever the opposite of judgmental is, that's Tyler. And it's not just lip service... he's "been there, done that" and put his money where his mouth is in a wholly immersive way.
But when I suggested in passing that that spirit was what moved him to make the "state of the board" post that started this thread, it was interpreted as an insult. Why? Because I didn't "word it perfectly", and words are ALL a written forum has. Had I said the same thing in person, he most likely would have only held up a hand stopping the exchange for a second and asked for clarification. I would have given it (probably referring to the Uganda conversation we'd had last year), he'd have relaxed, satisfied that he understood what I MEANT, and we'd have seamlessly moved on.
Had Sandahl not explained the contextual subtleties of the word "guilt" to someone who was once a pastor, I'd have remained mystified for the rest of my days about what the hell had happened.
And I'm as careful and precise with language as anyone you're likely to meet.
In fact, I suspect that the across-the-Internet decline in forum interest has more to do with the sort of incident I just described than anything else. Real time, multi-source, simultaneous written communication is
fractal in nature. Everyone interprets what everyone else says slightly differently, and when disagreements or perceived insults occur, the subsequent explanations are interpreted slightly differently still again, and then again with still more people joining in, and on and on it goes, until collective frustration and/or exhaustion puts an end to it.
Until the next time. Because that's the nature of it.
It's no wonder that people start abandoning such a thing when alternatives become available.
Here's a visual example of fractal branching for anyone who's unfamiliar with how it works:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gruJ0S3TTtI
In order for new guys to want to come to this forum to learn and participate, we need to be welcoming. I think we can all agree to that.
Agreed. Seamonster said it best.
UFOs must be real. There's no other explanation for cats.